Citizen Yoga

A number of years ago a friend of mine asked me if I took photographs of people. I told her no. I eventually assumed in the years following she had given me an opportunity to do something scary and create imagery for her lifelong dream of entrepreneurialness. Real word as of now. I still regret my response, mostly because my answer came from a place of fear and sever anxiety of possible failure. I knew I couldn’t do the level of work I wanted to be capable of doing. And I wasn’t going to give myself the chance to even try to mess it up.

Fast forward to almost 6 years of motherhood (aka daily failing/finding ways to be ok with/learn from it), becoming an advocate for those kids and myself, and taking small steps closer to my true north.. Another dear friend asked me if I would provide imagery of her ideas, her essence, and precious gem of a company. This time my answer came from a place of (again) fear, but also a bit more mature understanding of failure and hoping that somewhere inside me I had the capacity to show up, at least because she believed in me. And that even if it ended up being a complete debacle, at least I went for it and could tell my children, tell myself, that I had been brave. Because I have to tell them (myself) constantly that bravery isn’t the lack of fear, it’s sitting with that fear but doing what you’ve committed to anyway. Being brave is a commitment. I even tell them they’ll probably surprise themselves with what they can do. So I pretended to believe in myself.

Funny thing is, with every portrait and shoot, I think that small seed of belief, bravery, capacity, however small, has grown into something real. I think it comes with practice.

Which is so very yoga.

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June berries

Summer is upon us. Those magical days of quiet early morning walks, lush gardens, sleepy afternoons, sticky sandy beach days, sun kissed freckles, wild summer berries, torrential thunderstorms, and moments that seem to defy the laws of time in length. Easily our favorite time of year.

I am looking forward to more unplanned days, and relatively late mornings full of snuggles. Just enough before hanger shows up, as it tends to. Summer can’t be all sunshine and daisies..

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Sleeping Flowers

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The world is too much with us; late and soon,

Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;

Little we see in Nature that is ours;

We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!

This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon,

The winds that will be howling at all hours,

And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers,

For this, for everything, we are out of tune;

It moves us not. –Great God! I’d rather be

A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;

So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,

Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;

Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;

Or hear old Triton blow his wreathèd horn.

..William Wordsworth

Spring and Autumn are transitional sets of time, not really seasons at all. Summer and Winter are the true seasons. Spring and fall are simply the means whereby we reach those destinations, much like our daily life moves us between life and death. Adoration for the seasonal transitional times are quite possibly because they are so short lived we don’t have time to grow weary of them, or because the intensity of their origin and destination make them easier to enjoy, or maybe because they hold growth within their experience. Spring expands into movement and vitality, autumn sheds and constricts into sleep and pause. It’s so easy to focus on what has been or what is to come, but transitions like spring and summer demand attention, demand presence.

We have finally bid adieu to winter in our part of the world, the season of sleep. The world was not dead, it laid in wait for sun and warmth again. Sleeping flowers, waiting for bloom. Demanding notice, if only for a short time. The greater sleep experience lies within, our infinite self sleeping on without notice, but once awakened it will not grow and expand undetected.

Our perception changes us, by us. Infinity within, perpetually sleeping until ready to awaken and see with new eyes.

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foraging october

Packed the girls into the car for a small foraging adventure.  With dirty faces, messy hair, and enchantment for whatever came. Picking crab apples as the days grow crisp and the wind bites seems so fitting for October. It’s really the most loveliest of months.

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…O hushed October morning mild,
Begin the hours of this day slow.
Make the day seem to us less brief.
Hearts not averse to being beguiled,
Beguile us in the way you know.
Release one leaf at break of day;
At noon release another leaf;
One from our trees, one far away.
Retard the sun with gentle mist;
Enchant the land with amethyst.
Slow, slow!…

twofold

A dear friend of mine had twin baby boys a few months ago. I knew how important it was to preserve the memories of those first few months for her. Those precious slow days that are the heaviest, most intense days anyone could experience. But they’re also the most fleeting, and tender. These little brothers are now smiling and growing what seems every time I see them, which is just about every day.

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lately..

Life has been so full. We soaked up summer as much as we could, school began again. The year continues on in a round bringing newer experiences that are unfamiliar and yet all too easily recognized and compared to similar faded memories. We are at a rounding point of time in this home where we can do the same things in the same places, with the same people, using the same words, feelings, and care, and yet it still feels like uncharted water. I wonder if bearings will ever be found before we have to pick up and start again. But then aren’t we all perpetual beginners?

I have started to nurture myself a bit more. Adding new to me ventures here and there, prioritizing what I spend my time on and where I emphasize my efforts. Sometimes that means I have to say no to wonderful and exciting opportunities, yes to others, and mostly that has meant finding value and meaning in where I am now, giving mindfulness to everyday moments.

I decided to jump back into the world of food photography and although I have become reacquainted with the limitations of my talent, resources, and creativity, I really love playing with my food.

All recipes can be found on thankyourbody.com.