A number of years ago a friend of mine asked me if I took photographs of people. I told her no. I eventually assumed in the years following she had given me an opportunity to do something scary and create imagery for her lifelong dream of entrepreneurialness. Real word as of now. I still regret my response, mostly because my answer came from a place of fear and sever anxiety of possible failure. I knew I couldn’t do the level of work I wanted to be capable of doing. And I wasn’t going to give myself the chance to even try to mess it up.
Fast forward to almost 6 years of motherhood (aka daily failing/finding ways to be ok with/learn from it), becoming an advocate for those kids and myself, and taking small steps closer to my true north.. Another dear friend asked me if I would provide imagery of her ideas, her essence, and precious gem of a company. This time my answer came from a place of (again) fear, but also a bit more mature understanding of failure and hoping that somewhere inside me I had the capacity to show up, at least because she believed in me. And that even if it ended up being a complete debacle, at least I went for it and could tell my children, tell myself, that I had been brave. Because I have to tell them (myself) constantly that bravery isn’t the lack of fear, it’s sitting with that fear but doing what you’ve committed to anyway. Being brave is a commitment. I even tell them they’ll probably surprise themselves with what they can do. So I pretended to believe in myself.
Funny thing is, with every portrait and shoot, I think that small seed of belief, bravery, capacity, however small, has grown into something real. I think it comes with practice.
Which is so very yoga.